GAME NEWS

Do not play this Noita mod that sends you down horrible pits of meat and eyeballs

Apple fire shots at Epic for hosting Itch.io and its “offensive and sexualised” games

Apple have made it sound as though Itch.io is an evil demon app that sells games “so offensive” they couldn’t possibly speak about them in court.

We need to make a pact. Let’s you and I never, everrrr download and play this Noita mod called Flesh Biome. We can’t be encouraging this sort of thing. Noita’s depths are already terrible as it is without adding the meat tunnels and digestive system gases that’ll consume your wands and dreams. Wizards shouldn’t have to run their robes through a ‘viscera’ cycle.

Whoops! My finger slipped. Ok, so I accidentally grabbed it and, oh god is it gross. It’s at least confined to a decent depth, tucked between the Hiisi Base and Jungle biome like a tumour. As you enter it, you’re warned you’ve made it to the ‘Dog’s Bowels’. The creatures down here are ghastly blobs of raw meat. One looks a bit like a spider had an accident in a blender with some pink bubblegum. Its power is to fire gobs of sticky rope that’ll attach other beasts to you, which is 10 times worse than just fighting them. It’s so gross you want to wash yourself off, but doing that down here isn’t a good idea because the lakes are full of piss.

Hitman 3’s Season Of Pride roadmap is bringing community contracts

Hitman 3’s Season Of Pride has lots of free new contracts. Hitman fans are also getting in on the action when community-made contracts arrive.

I’m generally ambivalent to the ground I chew up in Noita, because it’s usually between me and somewhere I want to go, and it’s just, you know, dirt. Here, it’s meat all the way down. It looks like chewed up bodies mid-scream, as far as I can tell, with the odd eye-ball that follows your movement. The eyes cloud over when you cut into them, and it makes me feel very uncomfortable.

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Noita’s still a great game,and there are nicer Noita mods around. I’d suggest you download those instead.

Save your pretty paper home from flames in handcrafted Papetura

This hand sculpted paper adventure game is all about saving your little paper pals from fire alongside a lovely soundtrack.